I let H3 chose today’s movie, and between “zombie aquarium” and “slasher at a bowling alley”, Last Night at Terrace Lanes was the clear winner. It’s a horror comedy best described as, “a teen teaming up with her dad to take on a cult that has invaded a bowling alley”. Interestingly, while the official blurb describes the father as a survivalist, that element didn’t seem to make it in the final version of the movie. What did make it is an interesting attempt at horror that doesn’t quite know who its aimed at.
- Directed by: Jamie Nash
- Written by: Adam Cesare. Jenna St. John
- Starring: Francesca Capaldi Ken Arnold. Mia Rae Roberts
Recap and Review: Mild Spoilers for the Setup
The movie starts with a strong introduction to the cult. While they don’t get into specifics, the movie makes it clear how dangerous the cult is. It also clearly establishes the mathematical nature of their beliefs. This sequence shows them “discovering” the location for their massacre by getting various coordinates from weighing the organs of random people they’ve kidnapped and murdered.
Kennedy and her best friend, Tess, end up at the same location. It’s, a bowling alley where they met up with two boys, Pete and Cody. Kennedy is reluctant to go in, but Tess loves the retro feel. The alley is getting torn down the next day, so Tess talks Kennedy into one night of bowling.
Meanwhile the Cult is lurking outside.
We spend some time getting to know the other bowlers a bit. There is the usual assortment of quirky characters expected in a horror comedy. The only real stand out is Bruce, maintenance man, and Kennedy’s dad. She’s embarrassed that he works there and that she used to bowl. It’s wildly overdone and obnoxious.
The Best of The Characters
We barely get a chance to know the patrons when the cult walks in. So far, none of them are particularly likeable or remarkable, other than Tess. Cody is, in fact, so awful I can’t imagine why anyone would hang out with him.
After a fight between Bruce and Cody, it turns out that Tess isn’t Kennedy’s BFF. This is more of a first-time hangout. Shockingly, Kennedy has trouble making friends. They argue about Kennedy lying about bowling, her dad, and Tess’s terrible friends. Tess can’t give any justification for hanging out with Cody. There is some nice dialogue in this scene. Here, the movie feels like it wants to be a teen drama first, and a slasher as an afterthought. It’s nice to see Tess call Kennedy out on her B.S. In the end, the girls sort out some of their issues and start building their friendship.
Bruce has a brief conversation with the alley owner about cutting his daughter some slack and giving her room to grow. This is the only time we see the owner before the end of the movie. That will be important later.
Meanwhile, the cult makes their first kill: it’s the bowling alley mascot.
The Worst
Afterwards, we get more annoying banter between Cody and the other guy. I’d like to point out that Pete, is written as “the good one”. However he constantly enables Cody instead of just bailing on him. If the theme of this movie is about relationships, theirs is clearly an abusive or codependent one.
This storyline doesn’t get to go much further. The cult gets the signal that it’s massacre time, and the Pete gets a hatchet to the face. Most of the patrons are murdered almost immediately. Almost all of these deaths occur offscreen or in non-bloody ways.
Any survivors of the initial massacres are largely irrelevant. I’ll leave out any massive spoilers here. We don’t spend enough time getting to know much about the patrons so, it’s not really meaningful when they die.
Bruce is still in the owner’s office. He is of course, sitting with headphones on, turned away from any security screens. Once he gets involved, the movie improves as Kennedy and Bruce have to work together to find a way out of the alley. This also forces them to address the issues in their relationship. The film struggles to bring these two elements together seamlessly. Instead alternating between action sequences and long conversations. Watching the actors together however is enjoyable.
Is It Any Good?
Again, tonally, Last Night at Terrace Lanes feels like it doesn’t know if it’s young adult horror or a legit, gore-filled slasher. There are some interesting concepts that are under-explored. These could have elevated the script if more time was spent on them, and less time with establishing so many characters who are ultimately meaningless.
I’ve long thought there is lack of teen horror these days. Those gateway movies that can be used to build lifelong horror fans. Movies that feel like you were getting away with something by watching them. Maybe I’m too old to really look at horror with this kind of eye right now, but it feels like the genre could use more of those.
By not committing to a demographic or theme, Last Night at Terrace Lanes flip-flops between two movies. It shortchanges the interesting elements of the story and pauses the action for long conversational sequences or rambling math-based monologues from the cultists. Although I will admit the cultists are a lot of fun.
This movie has one other major problem. Yet again, an underdeveloped Black character needlessly sacrifices herself for the white leads. This is the second or third indie horror movie I’ve seen in a month to do this. It’s a cliché, and it’s not a good one. In fact, both POC characters are pretty weak here; one is sacrificial, and the other is reduced to bait.
The Cultists
A cult based on the spiritual power of math seems like a great idea, however, the execution is a little weak, and I have mixed feelings on the resolution. There’s a lot here about the power of cults and how it can backfire, and I think that works out really well. Just don’t think too hard about their overall structure and beliefs. This is one of the areas that could have used more space. The leader clearly has other motivations that are hinted at when his plan starts to go awry.
If they could have settled on a theme and really made it work, or reinforced the theme of broken relationships, even within the cult, the leader’s hidden motivations or manipulations of his followers would have been more impactful. The cultists aren’t real people in the scope of this film; they don’t show their faces, have significant lines, personalities, or differing behaviors. I don’t think this is a flaw. Viewing them as one group, Leader vs Cultists in the context of relationships, makes the theme stronger. He doesn’t see them as people or individuals, just tools. It’s not apparent until the very end, and it could have been stronger, but again, I like how the cult problem is resolved, so I’m really torn on this element.
Location, Location, Location
A bowling alley should be a perfect place for a slasher, but there is a degree of wasted opportunity with some of the machinery. Logistics and safety may play a part in this, but I really wanted to see someone lose a limb in the ball return. They even teased it early on, but never followed through.
Final Thoughts
If you’re a fan of quirky relationship-driven horror that’s lighter on gore this might appeal to you. It’s got some uneven moments but it also feels like the filmmakers put real thought into the cult and characters. If you are looking for more traditional slasher material, this might not be the best choice.
Conceptually this started strong, but thirty minutes before the end, everything kind of falls apart. Most of the cast is dead, and from the remaining survivors, there’s little doubt who’s going to make it to the credits. I know it seems like I’ve been hard on Last Night at Terrace Lanes, but it’s mostly because there was so much potential here. It’s not without its charm though. It’s difficult when you want to like a movie, but it doesn’t quite work. I’ll be keeping an eye out for the writer’s next work, Clown in a Cornfield. I am an eternal optimist when it comes to horror, and I have a good feeling about this one.
Last Night at Terrace Lanes is available for streaming on Tubi
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