Yes, I’m actually going to cover My Bloody Valentine 3-D and the original in back-to-back weeks. And honestly, I’m doing it for no other reason than it’s one of my favorite horror franchises, and it’s Valentine’s season.
My Blood Valentine 3-D follows much the same general ideas as the original. After a cave-in, miner Harry Warden snaps and kills his fellow miners, but years later, he may be back for more kills. The remake includes some additional twists and turns to the story, as well as the undeniable star power of Jensen Ackles in his early Supernatural days.
- Directed By: Patrick Lussier
- Written By: Todd Farmer. Zane Smith. John Beaird
- Starring: Jensen Ackles, Jaime King, Kerr Smith
A Miner Obsession
I have always loved the aesthetic of My Bloody Valentine, and the modern adaptation does improve on the look of Harry Warden. He’s large, imposing, and brutal. A benefit of modern filmmaking, this was also the first R-rated film to be projected in RealD 3D technology.
While My Bloody Valentine 3-D has a packed cast of horror greats—Tom Atkins is Sheriff Burke; Kerr Smith is Axel Palmer; and Jamie King is Sarah—the real star is the 3D gore. The special effects team combined practical effects and, at the time, cutting-edge tech for some of its best effects. This is old-school, popping-off-the-screen 3D at its best. Eyeballs, jaws, and pickaxes come at the viewer in full, glorious color.
This is not a serious movie. Despite dealing with themes of PTSD, mental illness, small-town politics, and failing economics, the spirit of My Bloody Valentine 3-D is more in line with gratuitous slashers of the ‘80s. Complete with all the nudity and blood you would expect. Seriously, this has one of the longest nude scenes I can remember seeing in a slasher.
Recap and Review
Rather than focus on the town preparing to celebrate Valentine’s Day, 3-D focuses on Tom Hanniger, played by Ackles, returning to town to finish the sale of the mines where Harry Warden’s massacres took place.
Harry is less cannibalistic in this version, although his back story is still similar. There was an explosion in the mines, and he was trapped with other miners. He killed them to conserve oxygen, but was unconscious by the time rescuers arrived. After being in a coma for a year, Harry wakes up and kills just about everyone in the hospital. After that he heads back to the mine where teens are partying. Harry kills most of the teens except for Axel, Tom, Sarah, and Axel’s girlfriend. Tom only lives because Sheriff Burke arrives and fires on Harry; Axel had otherwise left him to die.
Ten Years Later
Everyone in town hates Tom. They blame him for the initial accident, and now for selling the mine. Sarah hates him for leaving and not facing what happened. Once a man in a miner outfit starts killing people, it doesn’t take long for Tom to become now-Sheriff Axel’s main suspect.
One of the better parts of the character-building aspect of the movie, short lived as it is, is the time they spend developing the small-town feel. Everyone knows each other and is connected in some way. Tom and Sarah dated in high school; now Sarah is married to Axel. One of The Miner’s first victims is Axel’s old girlfriend, and Axel is cheating on Sarah with her coworker at the grocery store, Megan. Everyone is connected, and that only helps the suspect pool. Everyone has a reason to kill.
Starting Small
After starting small with a couple at a motel (this is the extended nude scene) as well as the owner, removing their hearts in the trademark Harry Warden M.O., The Miner makes his appearance in the mines. He follows Tom down and locks him in a cage, killing one of the workers while Tom watches helplessly. He tells everyone it was Harry Warden. This does not make Tom any more popular in town.
Axel tells Sarah and Tom that the killer can’t be Harry because his dad, Sarah’s dad, and Tom’s dad killed Harry. Afterwards the old Sheriff covered it up. They go to prove it by digging up the body, but the grave is empty.
Tom and Axel
Tom and Axel get into a fight in interrogation, mostly over Sarah and both of them being assholes. The deputy lets Axel know that the foreman confirms his story, and Axel is forced to let him go.
The Miner strikes again, murdering one of the men who killed Harry. Axel and the other deputies find his body in Harry Warden’s grave. That night, while Sarah and Megan close the supermarket, The Miner attacks them. In the quiet moments before the attack, Megan tries her hardest to undermine Sarah and Axel’s relationship. She’s not a great human, but she also risks her life to defend Sarah against The Miner. Megan eventually gets pulled out a window by The Miner; she doesn’t make it. Sarah points out that this attack could have been targeting Axel, since his mistress was the one who got killed.
The Miner then kills the old Sheriff, who goes to check on Axel and Sarah’s kid.
Sarah calls Tom and tells him she’s seen Harry. Tom tries to convince her that the miner is Axel. Axel calls Sarah and ties to convince her that The Miner is Tom. He reveals that Tom’s been in an institution for the past seven years.
The Reveal
Sarah wants to go home, but Tom is starting to lose control and won’t turn the car around. She grabs the wheel to crash the car. She runs through the forest to Axel’s cabin, where she finds the boxes of hearts. The Miner attacks her, chasing her to the mine. After wandering the mine running from The Miner, she comes across Axel. She holds him at gunpoint while Tom arrives. The three of them argue as to which of the two men is the killer. Axel comes up with the idea to shoot them both.
Tom reveals too much about Megan’s murder, identifying him as the killer. Only, he doesn’t know. When a hallucination of The Miner appears in front of him, we get a flashback showing how Tom’s trauma created The Miner, an alternate personality in Tom; The Miner and Tom merge, leaving only his murderous side behind.
Axel is only too excited for the opportunity to finally fight Tom, but he doesn’t fare well in the confrontation. With just one bullet left, Sarah is able to shoot the oxygen tanks behind Tom, blowing him up.
Except, He Survives.
Axel tells the deputy that Tom is dead, but the last shot is of his Harry Warden persona, walking away.
There were at one time plans for a third movie, but they were scrapped, so we’ll never know what Tom’s eventually fate is. Maybe he left town, got serious therapy, started a goat farm and now makes soothing soaps. Or, he killed a bunch more people before Sarah finally had to put him down with a pickaxe to the head.
Is It Better Than the Original?
It’s hard to say. It’s a different movie, despite the plot similarities. This Miner lacks the poetic touches of the original, and he’s not giving any warnings. Several of the kills were redone from the original to the remake. The dryer is the most notable for me, but the 3D also takes full advantage of the pickaxe through the eye gag.
In the original, the young adults are pretty far removed from the massacre. It’s been twenty years, and for some of them, has moved into urban legend. The remake has them play a part in it, especially Tom. This gives them personal investment in everything that’s happening. They aren’t just unaware victims, and to me, that’s a step up from the original.
Product of the Time
On the other hand, it really feels like a 2009 movie, complete with glossy visuals, attractive recognizable actors, and a big, beautiful house where someone dies horribly. Which is a nice way of saying that it feels dated.
I can’t really be unbiased about this one, or the original, which may have been apparent if you read that review. I love these movies. The look of The Miner is one of my favorite killer designs, and My Bloody Valentine 3-Dtakes every opportunity to make him look as big and badass as he should. There are several great moments where the camera holds on him posing menacingly. They know he’s why we’re here.
It’s a fun movie, full of silly 3D gore and gags, with decent acting from some talented genre standards. I’ll never love it as much as the original, but that’s partially due to loyalty. It’s hard to move past the first movie that introduces a character or concept. 3-D adds some interesting twists to the story, just enough to modernize it a bit.
They don’t keep the tension or the possible mystery of who The Miner could be up for long enough, since it really comes down to one of two suspects. If you’ve seen the original, you know that Axel was the traumatized victim who became The Miner, not T.J. “Tom” Hanniger. Neither are particularly modern in their handling of trauma or mental illness, favoring drama over realism. Some of it can be handwaved as a product of its time, but it’s still a little eye-rolly.
How Is It a Slasher?
It’s a pretty textbook case: masked figure with a traumatic background, murdering people with fun weapons. The Miner probably spends less time stalking his prey, and more time just showing up and brutally murdering them. It’s not terribly suspenseful or scary because of this, but it makes up for it in beautifully shot gore and fantastic framed scenes of The Miner looking imposing.
The Miner dresses up his kills by putting hearts in Valentine’s candy boxes. Unlike the original, there’s no major focus on the holiday itself. There is plenty of relationship drama that feeds off the Valentines’ spirit and increases the initial suspect pool as well. Shame most of them die pretty quickly.
It’s a balancing act. You want a lot of meaningful kills, but also viable suspects. For being a remake, I think My Bloody Valentine 3-D does a pretty good job. It was helped by smart casting. At the time, no one was expecting Jensen Ackles to be the bad guy.
Final Thoughts:
I love this movie, gratuitous nudity and over-the-top 3D gore and all. It’s fun and reminds me that sometimes, going back to the basics is all you need for a good slasher. My Bloody Valentine 3-D didn’t reinvent the slasher. It just delivered on the genre standards in a fun and thrilling way.
My Bloody Valentine 3-D is available on streaming.
Check out my other Slasher Reviews here:
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