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The Great Alligator : I’ve Seen Worse
The Great Alligator was filmed in 1979, so it seems appropriate to look at it around this time of year. Before we get into specific details, I need to be clear: this is a B-movie at best. It’s a low-budget exploitation movie that borrows heavily from Jaws and even King Kong. I actually own The Great Alligator. It’s worth every penny I…
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Scream 7: This Isn’t Right
I’ve just gotten home from the theater after having seen Scream 7. I’m currently curled up under my Ghostface blanket and contemplating a rewatch of what, was up until this moment, my least favorite Scream, number 3. I had other plans for tonight, but I feel if I don’t get my thoughts down, I won’t remember enough of…
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Never Hike Alone: Friday the 13th For the Fans.
Never Hike Alone isn’t just a fan film, it’s a whole fan cinematic universe, complete with prequel, sequel, and an in-the-works animated series. One of the most important qualities in a horror movie, believe it or not, is sincerity. What I mean by that is the ability to treat its subject matter with dignity no matter how…
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The Mummy: From 1932 to Recent Remakes
It would be impossible to look at any of the Mummy movies without first addressing the glaring racism and imperialism present, since they start with the premise that Ancient Egyptian artifacts are better in the hands of white man. Of course, the white man suffers greatly for this, but the movie presents this not as justice, but horrific. 1932…
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Iron Lung: Not A Review
I’ve been following the progress of Markiplier’s (aka, Mark Fischbach) Iron Lung since it was announced. Well, to be fair, really since he first played the game by David Szymanski three years ago. The game has the right kind of narrative for adaptation. The big question was always, can an OG YouTube star cross over…
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The Faculty : Conformity Kills
They don’t make teen horror like The Faculty anymore. Its plot has elements of classics like Invasion of the Body Snatchers and The Blob. It’s a perfect ‘90s mix of teens distrusting adults, rebelling against expectations, and drugs saving the day, all set to never-ending stream of needle drops. The Faculty presents us with the worst-case scenario of what a…
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Event Horizon: The Cold Hell of Space
Event Horizon is listed in the streaming platform as an action movie, which is an interesting classification. I get that genre is a lens, not a label. But even with the most generous viewing, I find it hard to fit my favorite intergalactic hell ship movie into the conventions of an action film. The unusual classification, and…
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Del Toro’s Frankenstein: The Closer We Get, the Farther We Are
For years, Frankenstein had been Del Toro’s dream project. It was perhaps one of the most- hyped releases of last winter. How could it not be? The director best known for Gothic visuals, taking on THE gothic horror story? The results are spectacular, but not the 100%-faithful adaptation of Mary Shelley’s story I was looking…
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Black Phone 2: Visually Interesting But Nothing New
I’m not sure why I’m watching Black Phone 2. There was a lot about the first that was appealing in a retro horror kind of way. It had a, not realism, but authenticity that made it all the more frightening. The Grabber was every “stranger danger” after-school special made physical. Making The Grabber a supernatural entity doesn’t…
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Dust Bunny: Fluffy but With a Few Teeth
I hadn’t heard of Dust Bunny until it popped up under “recommended for you”. Since every streaming service I have thinks I have terrible taste, those suggestions are pretty hit or miss. However, Dust Bunny is by Brian Fuller and stars Mads Mikkelsen and Sigourney Weaver. That’s enough creative star power for me to give…