• Director: Joe Lynch
• Writer: Dennis Paoli H.P. Lovecraft
• Starring: Heather Graham, Barbara Crampton

Ok, I love Barbara Crampton. Most famous for 80’s classics Re-Animator and Chopping Mall, I became reacquainted with her when Adam Wingard’s smart and gory You’re Next changed how I felt about blenders and home invasion movies.  

Barbara Crampton’s highlights also include “We Are Still Here”, a deeply moving examination on grief through the story of parents surviving a haunted house while dealing with the sudden loss of their son. It’s a movie that showcases her range while dealing with heavy themes.  It’s also a movie I wish I had rewatched instead of Suitable Flesh.  But I made rules for this series, and since one of them was “no rewatches”,  here we are.   

Suitable Flesh is a modern retelling of H.P. Lovecraft’s The Thing on The Doorstep, heavily influenced by 80’s-era horror films in styling, tone, and cinematography. I failed to research this one before watching it, and until the caption showed that Heather Graham’s character was at Miskatonic University, I did not realize this was a Lovecraft adaptation. 

A NOTE ABOUT LOVECRAFT

H.P. Lovecraft is of the most influential horror writers of all time. His influence touches so many creators in ways it would be impossible to catalog. He was also incredibly racist. Even in the context of the period he lived in, he was considered racist and highly xenophobic. Like “complementing Hitler” racist, and we all know what a bad sign that is, right?  

More educated people than me have written about the impact Lovecraftian inspired fiction has had on Black horror writers.  Victor LaValle has done some interviews that are an excellent starting place for interested folks.  

For myself, I’ve cut back on my direct Lovecraft consumption, for a couple reasons really. I’m not the best at separating art from artist; I spend too much time thinking about theme and message for that. I want to be aware of what I’m consuming, and the impact it has on my own thoughts and the world.  This is an in-progress goal; I’m not perfect.  Also, and much more selfishly, I want new stories. I’ve read The Thing on the Doorstep. These days, more than anything, I want to be surprised. 

Did Suitable Flesh Surprise Me?

Not really. There’s nothing truly wrong with this movie, but I had a hard time getting through it.  I hate to be that person, but the short story delivers the themes of stolen identity and shifting personality more effectively.  This movie felt over-influenced by Stuart Gordon, without the magic that make Re-Animator work.  It’s not a subtle film, and the big obvious moments work against character choices, causing supposedly intelligent people to make incredibly stupid decisions.  

Recap and Spoilers Ahead

Adapting stories is hard. Choosing what is crucial to the core messaging, and what can be modified, revised, or removed requires a deep understanding of the source material and why it was so impactful in the first place. 

This may be where Suitable Flesh falls apart for me.  The short story The Thing on The Doorstep deals with an elderly father mystically body-swapping into his newlywed daughter, as told by the husband’s best friend as he tries to unravel the strange happenings. Other than early body horror, the dread of your wife being not just an imposter but a lecherous elderly man, and the constant fear of losing your body to someone else. 

The modern take has Heather Graham as Elizabeth Derby, a psychiatrist attempting to help her patient Asa, who believes he is being possessed by his father Ephraim.  Barbara Crampton is Daniella Upton, a fellow psychiatrist who starts the movie trying to figure out why her colleague murdered Ephraim.

Generally, I like Heather Graham. She has an earnest quality that I find endearing in many of the characters she plays; here however, she lacks believability and credibility as a renowned doctor. She breaks about a half-dozen regulations in the first thirty minutes, and some breaking-and-entering laws for good measure.  Once characters get to the “have to be stupid” point for the plot to progress, I can feel my attention slipping away.

That point came when our renowned expert psychiatrist allowed a hypnosis session to be interrupted, went to a potential patient’s home for an emergency instead of calling emergency services, watches Asa have an apparent seizure and doesn’t call the for help, and then sleeps with Asa. This allows Ephraim to jump into her body briefly.  This is where Heather Graham looks like she’s having the most fun; sadly it doesn’t last, and soon everyone is back to their normal bodies. 

From here things get worse. Ephraim in Asa’s body kills Asa in Ephraim’s body in a beheading sequence that exists just to exist.  Elizabeth runs away when no one believes her, her husband discovers her affair, and she’s all alone. She kills some time by fantasizing about Asa, and that’s when my brain left for the day. 

Look, I’m fine with the intersection of sex and horror; Clive Barker is a big inspiration and, when blended correctly, there’s a lot to work with.  Movies can be challenging and sexy, terrifying and titillating all at the same time. This is none of those.  It is awkward and off-putting since there is no chemistry between any of the actors and honestly, the script gives no reason for there to be any either.

Neither of the personalities in Asa’s body are all that compelling, and he’s nice enough-looking but certainly not worth blowing up a marriage over. Without being provided a more concrete motivation for her interest in Asa, Elizabeth comes off as just…well not very bright. 

From here, there are more body-swapping shenanigans, Elizabeth tries to kill Ephraim, like a LOT, all the while being told by Dr. Upton that this is all in her head. Eventually the still-somehow-alive corpse of Ephraim ends up inhabiting Elizabeth’s body. Elizabeth as the charred corpse switches with Dr. Upton, and now we have three-card monte with bodies and souls.

The whole thing ends with Elizabeth dead in Ephraim, Ephraim in Dr. Upton making a move on Elizabeth’s husband, and Dr. Upton in the now-incarcerated Elizabeth?  IDK, my brain left, remember? This ending is also an issue I have with body-swap stories in general, in that all the ones I’ve seen tend to end the same way. It’s not a twist, if it ever was, and it’ s soured me on this specific storytelling device in general. 

I said there wasn’t anything truly wrong with this movie, but now that’ve recapped it, that feels like a lie.  There are a lot of little things that make this a disjoined viewing experience, but one that I think certain viewers would have fun with. Tonally it’s a bit over the map, like it’s unsure how seriously it wants to take itself.  It never quite lands on the delightful black comedy of Re-Animator, even if it comes close. 

The tone makes sense; it was written by Dennis Paoli who adapted many of Lovecraft’s works for film, including Re-Animator.  That leaves a lot of the choices to the directing.  While I don’t love Joe Lynch’s vision, I think he executed a lot of the elements of his 80’s homage well. 

How Was Barbara Crampton?

This was not my favorite work from her, but the bar was set high. For a role that required such a high level of camp, she delivers. I just prefer movies where she can showcase more of her dramatic range as well. She also looks fantastic in the super stylized world Director Lynch created.

 Until the end, much of the screen time is given to Heather Graham. My one critique would be that their scenes together don’t work as well as they should. If these women are supposed to be friends, it doesn’t show.

Final Thoughts

Finally, a movie that proves that I don’t just love everything.  Suitable Flesh isn’t quite enough of any one thing; there isn’t enough tenson to be scary, it’s not sexy despite all the sex, and it’s not absurd enough to be funny. It’s also not quite bad enough to be truly offensive either. I think there are a lot of people out there who would enjoy this movie, I’m just not one of them.

Suitable Flesh is available on Shudder and On Demand

Your Fave Was in that #1: Robert Englund

Your Fave Was in That #2: Lin Shaye